Change

Back in October I came to the realization that I was living in fear and it was holding me back.  Specifically in the area of our housing situation.

We bought our house at the peak of housing before the big crash.  We were some of the lucky one who didn’t end up over our head.  We have always been able to afford our mortgage and a bit more.  It’s comfortable.

I don’t like letting people into my finances.  I feel judgement.  I think this stems from my childhood and always feeling judged and like I made the wrong choices.  Before we move on….I don’t know that you could really said I ever made any bad choices – I had good friends, I made good grades, I completed my degree, I avoided debt (with the exception of calculated credit building debt), I married a decent guy (and that’s an EXTREME understatement), I work hard, you get the point…my one mistake might be that I haven’t ever taken any risks.

Anyway, I went to my husband one day and I told him, nothing is going to happen if we don’t DO something.  And so we began DOING something.  We started looking at houses.  We started talking to Realtors.  We got Pre-Approved!   In fact, right when I got let go, we were in the process for sending the final docs to the mortgage broker and were scheduling walk-throughs.  We put the house buying on hold until my job is figured out.

I’ve had two internal interviews.  Both for extremely different positions.  I haven’t been offered either, but the last interview was just a few hours ago.  If I was offered both I don’t know what I would do.  One area, I know a lot of the people I’d work with, but it would require office-time.  The other area, I know the content more and I’d still get to work from home, but it’s a sales position, which means a partial commissions-based pay and I don’t know what that really looks like/feels like, etc. Both would challenge me and both have lots of room for growth, which is great because I feel like I’m slightly maxed out of growth opportunities in my current position.

But there is a downside of staying at the company that is whisking away over 20 employees with no less than 7 years in their current role and replacing them with a few handfuls of folks who will be joining the company at the entry-level, with a very short timeframe for training.  Anyone that remains will “on-call” for any issues that may arise!

I started this talking about a new house.  I think God opened my heart to that change to prepare me for this job change.  We don’t change:

  • We’ve lived here for 9.5 years
  • I’ve been with my employer 13 years
  • Zach has been with his employer for 10 years
  • Zach has driven his car for 10 years
  • I’ve driven my car for 6 years
  • I’ve only ever had 1 bank account….18 years, same bank.

And now I’m living in limbo.  By summer, our lives will look different.  I WILL have a new job.  We HOPE to have a new house.  Isaac will be in full-time school.  Lynzie will be starting preschool.

We are growing.  Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s exciting, it’s freeing and we are ready to tackle this new time in our lives.