The Last Night

I watched my son jump around and be himself today. It was bittersweet. I looked at him thinking, he has no idea that tonight is his last night as an only child. His last moments alone with his mommy. I wanted to cry. I want to cry now.

How can I be so split in two. One of me completely devoted to Isaac and the other completely devoted to our baby girl. How can I want both…a new baby and no changes in our life.

I wonder how this will effect Isaac and his personality. We will never know Baby Girl without a brother. But who would she be without him. Who will she be?

Isaac had a moment today of yelling and stating that everything in his room was his. I don’t really know what started the yelling, but I have a feeling despite all our trying to prepare him, it’ll be something we have to deal with from now on.

I wanted this post to be about how excited I am to meet my daughter. How I’ve struggled all week with the waiting. But instead I got emotional and now I need to rest…we’ve got a baby to welcome in a few hours!


2 thoughts on “The Last Night

  1. I was worried about all that, too. And yes, to the point of being very emotional. Sometimes it’s still very hard to balance the two, but the older Oliver gets the easier it is. Chad and I have taken to one on one days or nights with Julian. We will leave Oliver with my in-laws and take Julian to lunch and a movie, or out swimming… something where it’s just the three of us. And I spend time with him every night after I put Oliver to bed. It is hard. But it will be okay. I hope everything goes well for you today! Please send along an update when you have one. I’ll be thinking about you.

  2. Pingback: The Best Day. | Chocolate Soup

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