Learning How to Not Be Selfish

Isaac watched Monsters vs Aliens the other night for about the fourth time with Uncle Cody.  The next day at dinner Isaac yelled, “Selfish jerk,” at Daddy.  Zach remembers it as being said in the movie.  I asked Isaac if he knew what selfish was…he didn’t…and I tried to explain it as best as I could.

Since this conversation, and with number two on the way, I’ve been thinking a lot about how we teach our “only” child how not to be selfish – how to not think the world revolves around him, as it does for the most part.  I don’t know that Isaac will really get it until he isn’t the only center of our world, but he has done a few cute, unselfish things this weekend.

On Friday, I was rushing Isaac out of the house because I needed to ship my world computer to our office in Chicago.  I asked Isaac if he would please carry my water, since the boxed up computer was a bit awkward.  He whined about it, but carried it down the first flight of stairs, then he was done.  I was annoyed so I balanced it on top of my box as we continues down the stairs.  I don’t know exactly what I bumped, but the cup went tumbling, breaking the lid and spilling my 24oz of water all over the stairs and floor.

I had one of those moments in parenting that you wish you could take back.  I yelled.  Told Isaac to get in the car and that it was basically all his fault because he wasn’t willing to help.  I cleaned up the mess and got in the car.  In the car, Isaac said it was okay, that I could fix it, to which I made it clear that it wasn’t fixable and it was all his fault.  Really not my best parenting approach!

On Saturday we were watching a movie and Isaac was floating in and out of the room.  At one point, he decided to cuddle and there were flowers on the screen (I’m fuzzy on those details) and Isaac began to talk about them being like the pretty flowers on my cup that was broken and how sad he was that it was all his fault.  I gave him a tight squeeze and told him we’d already gotten a new lid, so it was all fixed and it wasn’t all his fault in the first place.  He asked a few questions to make sure it was really fixed and then said, “okay.”

I felt so bad for making him feel bad, but how proud I am that he actually cared.  He was sorry and sad and wanted it to be all better.  Not for himself, but for me, so I would have my cup that he knows I always use.

On Sunday, I ate too much for dinner and I eventually ended up laying in the hall on my stomach.  Isaac came up the stairs and says, “Oh, there you are.  I’ve been looking for you,” as he sits on the step to be eye level with me.  We discuss the pretty marble he is playing with and all it’s colors…

I: Do you what to share it with me?

Me: Not right now.  Mommy doesn’t feel very good.

I: Where does it hurt Mommy?

Me: My tummy and my back?

I: Oh (pause) maybe I should give you a massage to make it feel better.

Me: That might work.

Isaac then stands up, sits on my butt and gives me a bit of a massage.  Then, “oh, I forgot to take my shoes off,” and the moment was broken.  But oh how thoughtful and considerate?  I couldn’t believe he thought about it all by himself and was gentle about it.

A Peek Inside

If you are reading this, it means I’ve told my family. I’d still like to keep this off of Facebook and from just anyone knowing, so if you are friends with me on Facebook and/or in real-life, comment here and talk to me, but please don’t spread it around.

We had our 7 week ultrasound on Friday.  I’ve been really nervous that something would be wrong, mainly that their wouldn’t be a heartbeat.  I think it is all my doctor’s fault.  Last time I was in she said, “And we’ll see if it’s viable.”  So of course, I got suck on it not being viable.

Isaac was so cute.  When the ultrasound lady came to get us, Isaac immediately told her, “We’re going to see the baby.”  Ultrasounds are hard to see especially when the baby currently looks like a bean, so Isaac is still waiting to see the baby.  Today Isaac and I went through his ultrasound photos and I showed him his head and his feet.  He was real excited.  I’m hoping it’ll help later when he sees better ultrasounds of the baby.

Back to Friday’s ultrasound – I was 7 weeks, 3 days.  Yes, it is a “viable” pregnancy.  Heartbeat was 137 (which works out to 7 weeks 2 days).  Most of the measurements put the baby at 7 weeks, 1 day.  So they just left the due date of October 30.  Isaac’s dates had an eight day range…it was so confusing, but he was just a slow grower, still is.  Below is the image from Friday…it was taken with my phone, so excuse the blurriness.

After the tech took the measurements of the baby, screen shots of my ovaries, she was measuring some black spot.  I asked her what it was.  It’s a subchorionic hematoma or hemorrhage…more easily explained as a blood clot.   It is located between the placenta and the uterine wall, mine specifically is below the placenta, close to the cervix.  I’m wondering if this is why I have been feeling pressure on my cervix.  Neither the ultrasound tech or the doctor were concerned about it.  They said it was small and clotted (not still bleeding).  I did some research online later and it seems there is only a 1-3% chance of miscarriage, primarily in large clot circumstances.   The doctor said I might see some spotting, but to call them and not assume the worse if I do.  It might just be the clot passing.   But no matter what, there is nothing you can do to prevent it and nothing you can do to “fix” it.  It’s a wait and see game.   I might ask next time if they can do an ultrasound and see if it has shrunk…that would make me feel better.

I spent the rest of the day being somewhat stressed–worried about the baby.   I think a lot of that has to do with how crappy I’ve been feeling.  Cramps, naseua and my stupid lower back pain….all things they told me to watch for and when I said I’d had them it was, “well, if it is different.”  So now I’ve been trying to determine what would be different.  Ha!

We had a busy day on Saturday shopping and preparing for our annual St. Patty’s Day Party and then the actual party.  I was pretty worn out.  Thankfully, Sunday didn’t involve much for me besides walking up and down the stairs and going to Taco Bell.

Last night I slept better than I have in weeks and I’ve felt pretty good all day.  It’s my lower back that causes me the most problems.  I need to start going to the chiropractor again, but until then, I’ll just try to ice often.

The Dog’s Bathroom

I want to post the photo…but Zach says it is too gross, so let me set the scene.  We have an area of our backyard that Isaac refers to as “the dog’s bathroom.”  It is cheap, fake green grass carpet stuff where the dogs do there business.  We try to keep it clean, but with two dogs, it is covered in poo most of the time…and yesterday was no exception.

I had a quick call and had told Isaac not to bother me until I opened the door.  He said okay and I expected him to play with his cars.  And for a while I did hear him playing around the house…but then things got quiet.  I finished up and went in search of him.  He was no where in the house.

I saw the backdoor open, so I walked outside.  I didn’t see him and I’m starting to panic just a bit.  The dogs are out playing in the grass.  I called for Isaac.  We’ve been working on when I call his name he is supposed to say, “here I am” and sure enough he did.

I look in that direction and see Isaac still in his jammies, but with his pants and undies pulled down to his ankles, sitting (on his butt) in the middle of the “dog’s bathroom” holding his penis down, so he wouldn’t pee on his pants.

“What are you going?!”

“Pooping and peeing.”

He said it so earnestly and it was so disgusting and he didn’t mean any wrong, I just burst out laughing.  I took a quick photo to text to Zach and we had a similar conversation for about five minutes as I tried to convince him to pull his pants up and come inside.  It was still morning, and although it got up to around 70 yesterday, it was chilly, he was in the shade and half naked.  He was covered in goosebumps and shivering, but insisting he wasn’t cold.

I finally convinced him he didn’t really need to go pee and got him to go inside, where we immediately stripped and he took a shower.  He got a very stern you-aren’t-allowed-outside-without-mom-or-dad-and-you-don’t-use-the-dog’s-bathroom lecture.

Absolutely so funny!  And he didn’t see one thing wrong with it.  He is definitely all boy.

The Cough

Isaac has had this on-going cough for months now.  It started shortly after we got back from Arizona.  It only happened like once a week in November, we went to the doctor in December for it.  We were told it was spasmodic croup and given prednisone.  It helped.

Then around the first of the year it came back, but for some reason January is a bit of a blur for me.  Then in February we all got sick.  Zach was sick for three or four weeks and Isaac was showing similar symptoms.  I only got sick for one week, but I’m healthy like that.  We took Isaac to the doctor at the beginning of the month.  She gave him an antibiotic since the cough seemed to be getting worse.  Then just over a week later, I could hear wheezing/rattle in his lungs, so we went back to the doctor.  She said he had early stages of pneumonia and prescribed amoxicillin for 10 days.  Within two days his cough left and was gone until two or three days after the prescription was out.

We’ve been paying very close attention to this cough.  It was happening almost every night between 8-10 and would last an hour or more.  Sometimes there was wheezing when he breathed in, sometimes when he breathed out.  Sometime he had problems truly breathing altogether.  Sometimes the coughing was barky.  Sometimes it was just so violent he threw up.

We were kinda waiting it out to see if we could get to his well care visit at the end of March, since it was most likely spasmodic croup again or asthma, which needs more time to document.  But on Monday it was a nice beautiful day.  Mom, Zach and Isaac were all out front playing with bubbles and chasing them around.  When they came in for lunch Isaac’s cough had returned, so I decided to call the doctor.

Because it is winter season and it is his first year in school and around kids and there are some pretty long lasting viruses out there she didn’t give much of a diagnosis.  She did send us home with a nebulizer and two neb treatments.  One is a control that Isaac has to do twice a day and the other is just to “rescue” him if he is having a bad coughing/breathing moment.  She wants us to do it for several weeks and then reevaluate.

Thank goodness Isaac doesn’t have a problem with the machine or the mask.  We did try to hype it up and he knows its the help the cough and I think he is pretty much over coughing as much as we are, plus he gets to watch a show and he loves to watch a show.

So far, I don’t know if it is working.  He isn’t coughing as much during the day, but he has had two episodes of the bad coughing.  One time it was first thing in the morning before we really woke up and the “rescue” did work pretty well and allowed him to go back to sleep, but then just the next day he had an episode again at night.

He has also had a stuffed up nose for quite a while, but not runny and no fever.  This kid never gets a fever, so maybe it’s all allergies and asthma.  I feel so bad for the guy and it completely stresses me out, but I am thankful that we can do something about it and that my insurance is good.  I don’t know how the parents who have to pay for everything do it….we brought home over $500 in prescriptions on Monday for just over $30.  I have to remember to be thankful, to look at the good instead of dwelling so much on the unknown and bad.

Whirlwind of Excitement

When I was 12 I had a summer that changed my life.  I went to youth camp for the first time and was miserable because I had no friends and refused to let anyone in.  A few days after youth camp I went to spend 10 days on the farm with my uncle and his family.  I can’t remember exactly how the trip came about, I’d rarely seen my uncle and his kids and I never remembered meeting his wife.

I remember being so scared getting off the airplane in Fargo.  Although my aunt and uncle have three kids, my cousin Joey was the only one that was there the whole time.  Monica is older than me and had already moved out and Rachel was on a trip of some sort most of the time I was there.

But oh, was I kept busy. I was taught how to drive a tracker and left out in the field for hours turning hay.  I flipped it the wrong way on one row and fretted so much…my uncle just said, “guess you won’t do that again.”  I chased cows that got out (I’m pretty sure this is where my fear of cows developed).  I dug up potatoes for dinner (what! Potatoes come from the ground and not the store?) I rode my first horse, learned about reflexology and spent time out in the fields looking for the right wildflowers for my uncle’s teas.  But my favorite place was with my aunt, whether she was teaching me how to cook and make Peach Crap Pie or if I was in her warehouse helping her package soups and ship them out.  I grew up a bit that summer and learned a lot about myself.  It was 10 days of farm packed fun that I’ll never forget and I’ve always wanted to go back.

On Friday my mom mentioned that my uncle might be in town on Sunday.  We were already planning a turkey dinner, so I told Mom they should all come over.  Well, my uncle and his friend got a little behind, car overheated and they got lost, so they didn’t make it for dinner.  They did arrive at Mom and Dad’s sometime in the night to sleep, then this morning I got a call from my mom:  “I just wanted to let you know you are about to be invaded.  Dewane has left, Dad has left and I’m about to pull out.”

Good thing she gave me a little notice.  I was still in my PJs (of course, I pretty much live in my PJs, no wonder they are getting holes) and Isaac wasn’t even awake.  I dressed quickly and got Isaac up – he was excited to have Grandpa coming to visit – and I got Isaac breakfast.

Isaac, of course, was his typical host.  He shook everyone’s hand and when Dad told him  that Dewane was his brother, Isaac said, “I like him” and when Dad said that Brain was his friend, ” Isaac said, “Oh.”  It was quite funny.  Dewane sat at the table while Isaac finished his breakfast and told Isaac all about his tractor’s, cows, chickens and cat.  Then Isaac was dragging Brian and Dad up to his room to “play,” coming down a few minutes later to tell me I can talk later and taking Dewane’s arm to lead him upstairs.

We did manage a few pictures before the guys took off outside before they took off.  And Zach arrive just in time to shake hands…maybe next time.  So can you tell the big guys are brothers? 🙂

It was a whirlwind of excitement.  They were here for about 15 minutes and then gone, but I’m so glad they stopped by.  I really enjoy my uncle and always wish I had more time to talk to him and I really think Zach would enjoy talking to him, but has never gotten the chance.  I wish my family wasn’t so far away.  This summer is shot, if we go anywhere it will be to Nashville, but maybe next year we can take a trip up north and let Isaac experience a farm and really spend some quality time with family.

We are in agreement

If you are reading this, it means I’ve told my family. I’d still like to keep this off of Facebook and from just anyone knowing, so if you are friends with me on Facebook and/or in real-life, comment here and talk to me, but please don’t spread it around.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday…I was five weeks….after peeing in a cup, taking my weight, blood pressure and answering a ton of questions for the the nurse, the doctor came in and said…”Well, we are in agreement – you’re pregnant.”  Ha!

She upped my progesterone until the placenta starts making it, so now I get to be really, really sleepy at night.  She also got me on a prenatal vitamin.  I was a little concerned it was going to cause me pain, as a lot of vitamins to and I can never take more than one at a time, but I don’t even know when I take it…I don’t even need to take it with food.  WOW!

She told me to schedule an ultrasound appointment sometime between 7 and 9 weeks to see the baby’s heart beat.  I scheduled it for March 16 (7weeks, 3 days) and man that is a long way away!

For some reason I’m still having trouble getting it in my head that I’m pregnant.  I’ve been having to take afternoon naps and my emotions are all over the place and I’ve even spent many days nasaus…all typical first trimester symptoms.

My lower back is back to hurting again, I finally iced it last night and man, what a difference.  And yesterday I had a teeny-tiny bit of spotting after some morning fun with Zach, but of course, I stressed about it all day and was on the verge of tears.  I just want to see this little baby, see the heart beat and know it’s all going to be okay.  Two more weeks and then I’m sure there will be something else for me to impatiently wait for. 🙂