Losing Mystery

I dreaded Speech in college.  I’d always been a shy girl and getting up and speaking for a crowd was just not my thing.  Silly that a girl who was going to school to be a teacher was scared to get up and speak to a class, but so true.  I think I was a different person when I taught…I was outgoing, friendly, loud, confident, all these things I don’t really think of myself as.

I was lucky to get a great speech teacher.  He was fun and entertaining and actually wanted us to succeed and did everything he could to make that happen.  He said we needed to feel comfortable, like we were a family and as such, he spent a lot of time telling us about himself.  I don’t remember all that much, but I do remember he was proud of his marriage.  He’d been married a long time and was completely in love with his wife.  He said the keys was to leave a little mystery…his example: he’d never watched he wife get ready, do her hair and put her make-up on.

Now, I’ve never believed in his theory.  In fact, I always thought the opposite, that spouses should be open, honest and not have “mystery.” But this little piece of “wisdom” has stuck with me for the last ten years.  And recently, I’ve begun to thing about it in different terms…in terms of friendships and other relationships.

In this day and age, we have the opportunity to share our lives with the world.  We can post photos to Facebook, Twitter, WordPress and a variety of other sources.  We can provide status updates and even check-in.  But is there something to leaving a little mystery?  Are we scarificing our close relationships for more “internet” relationships?  Or are we networking and keeping in touch?

I know this is a topic widely discussed and debated.  And in the end, I guess we will never know.  I do know, that I wonder if I would have any friends if it wasn’t for this Internet world. Friends who were once lost, are some of my closest friends.  Family I hardly ever knew, I’ve visited and felt like family.  And there are several people who claimed we’d always been friends, but we aren’t and I feel like that might have happened with a lot of my friends if it wasn’t for the instant connection of the Internet.

Friendships generally develop because of a common aspect…work, school, church.  When that shared aspect is changed, as time goes on the visits are further and further apart…the phone calls are more and more distant until you know longer have anything “real” to talk about…you can only ever really play catch up.



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