Date Night

Last night Zach and I had the opportunity to leave Isaac at home and do something.  Neither of us could think of anything too creative, so we ended up five minutes from home at the Movie Tavern, but we got to talk and enjoy a drinks and a movie.

Once upon a time, Isaac didn’t like being left without us.  He’d cry and cry and cry.  This is not so anymore, especially with Uncle Cody to play with.  (I think Aunt Susie and Ashley fall into this category as well, but we haven’t tried in a while).  Isaac was perfectly happy to push us out the door.

When we arrived home 2 and a half hours later, Isaac was in his third new pair of undies, his room was messier than I’ve ever seen it, the trains were every where, we had tiny tomato hand prints up the stairwell wall and I had a very excited boy running around.  He was seriously hyper and so excited.

I cleaned up the blocks downstairs, since they were out from earlier in the day and the three boys went to work on the bedroom.  There was lots of laughter, thuds and thungs.

And when I went up stairs for bed later, everything was in place, the only sign of lots of fun was the little hand print I found this morning. 🙂



When Isaac was little (ha – like he is big now), we bought some of those wooden blocks with letters and numbers and pictures on them.  He loves them.  He always has.  A few weeks back, I put all his toys in his room and he gets to bring down specific boxes to play with.  Typically, that means we have two toys down stairs besides his basketball hoop.

99% of the time the first toy he brings down are the wooden blocks.  I don’t really understand it, but he does like to talk about all the “stuff” on the blocks.

Today he dumped them out of the couch and began sorting.  After a minute or so, I hear him say, “W, W, 9, A – Dog.”  I look over and on the couch he is pointing to blocks, from right to left: a side-ways ‘W’, a upside down ‘M’, a ‘4’ and a side-ways ‘A’.  At least he got the letters somewhat right. 🙂

I asked him to help me find the letters for Dog.  I found a ‘D’ and a ‘G’ and he found a ‘O’ (it was really a zero, but I went a long with him).  I lined them up so the spelt D-O-G, I read them and pointed to them.  Isaac clapped his hands in excitement and then read right to left, “G-O-D. Dog!”  After a few minutes I gave up.  He always reads from right to left, I think maybe he was born in the wrong country.


We hold hands.  I can’t remember holding hands when I was little, but here we are 30 and 57 holding hands.  We walk along the beach slowly.  She starts to lean.  We take a break.  I can see the pain on her face, but I have no way to help her.  All she ever wanted was a family – to love and be loved.   She is loved.  She is loving.  I cherish the moments that I have with her.  She is the anchor that keeps me grounded.  She is my best friend.  Memories flood.

“Uga-buggas.” Garlic Chicken. Games of Nerts.
Birthday parties.  Late night chats – boys, friends, life.
Sewing. Shopping. Scrubbing and dusting.


She dresses up in quiet smiles,
perfect to the outside world.
……slowly she falls…..into his arms.


My mom is such an important part of my life, she is my best friend.  She was diagnosed with MS 17+ years ago.  She has been battling it every since.  Her physical disabilities has gotten worse recently.  I’ve been wanting to write something about how much she means to me, but I can’t get it out right.  Maybe some day it’ll come – this is today’s attempt.


When Memories Fade

I spent a large portion of today taking videos off of my mini-DVD and putting them on my computer.  I got the camera for by birthday back in 2003 and we used it like crazy.  But I had a tendency to not label the DVDs and they are all mixed up, you can get Christmas on the end of two DVDs from different years, so I’ve wanted to put then on my computer for a while so I can back them up and make sequential DVDs.

One of the main reasons I’d wanted a video camera so much was because Zach’s friend has recently died and he had taken lots of video and a friend put it all together and made copies for all the friends.  There was comfort in remembering the person and I thought it was great that he was continuing to be a blessing to so many people.  And I thought that is I lost any one I’d like to have some visual and audio memories and so, I begged for a video camera.

I enjoyed re-watching these little movies, it’s amazing how much we’ve all changed in the last 7 years.  And I forget little things, like that I had a birthday party at my house that year and the friends that came.  Or that for New Years we had friends over to the apartment, friends who didn’t know each other and friends that we rarely see now.

I filmed like crazy when I first got it and Zach proposed only a month later, I was hoping we had something from that evening on film, but no, it doesn’t look like we did.  But I can’t help but laugh at this quick clip of the two of us.  Why I thought we needed this video I’ll never know, but it cracks me up that Zach is only interested in grabbing my butt.

10 Pounds

10 pounds!  That’s a mile stone, but I’m hesitant to post about it.  I’ve been trying to understand why I’m so fearful about posting about something I’m so excited about.  I think it’s because I don’t trust myself and if I gain it all back, it’ll be out there that at one time I actually lost it.  Anyway, on to the fun stuff.

At the beginning of the year Zach and I began a quest to lose weight – 10% by Zach’s graduation (May 7th).  Zach and I are not very good about watching what we eat or how much we eat, so in the past we’d be good for a day or two and then, oops, we went out to eat and spoiled the whole thing.  This is why I’ve gained 20 pounds in the seven years we’ve been married!  And when we got married I was trying to lose weight, about 10-15 pounds – yikes!

It’s been a bit of a mind game, as I switched scales in February and learned that the scale I was using was actually weighing me as less than I was.  By testing various objects and various scales, we learned it was about 4-5 pounds off, so when I switched I’d lost about 5 pounds, but felt like I was right back at square one.  How depressing is that!  For several weeks I had to use the old-faulty scale and the new accurate one.  And for the record, both were old, one is a digital scale whose battery had died years ago and the other one was an industrial shipping scale that seems to become more inaccurate the more weight you add to it.

Anyway, I’m happy to announce that I’m currently 10 pounds lighter than I was at the beginning of the year.  I weigh less than when I got pregnant with Isaac, before that I didn’t really weigh myself, so between getting married and having a kid I gained 15 pounds, but don’t know when exactly it happened.  My clothes fit better, I can feel my ribs and I can see a difference in my face.  That is great motivation to keep going, especially with all the nice weather and the prospect of wearing cute summer clothes.

So, what has worked this time around.  I’ve been good about taking my vitamin daily  (I have a two-year-old that yells at me if I don’t), I drink my eight ounces of water, I eating breakfast every morning (a huge change for me) and I’ve cut all my portions in half.  I’ve been writing everything down in my daily planner, just so I’m not sticking just anything in my mouth.  And most importantly, I’ve given my self the ability to have yummy things without the guilt – a couple of bites of ice cream, a few Reese’s minis, a homemade cookie or a glass of chocolate milk are all acceptable at the end of the day.

Now, you’d think I’d be hungry by cutting my portions in half, but in reality, I haven’t been.  I have the occasional day where I’m starving and I get some fruit or veggies and everything is okay.

I will log my food into SparkPeople every couple of days and I’m generally falling right in the my allotment of calories, protein and fat, so at least I know I’m not starving myself.

Today, I decided to take some photos of myself – I didn’t set out to do it, but after I was already for the day and Isaac was happily playing and Zach was otherwise occupied, it seemed like a good thing to do for documentation:

  • I was excited by my weight this morning
  • I was wearing one of of my favorite shirts.
  • Instead of putting my hair in a bun, I dried it this morning.
  • My hair is longer than I think it has ever been and I need proof.
  • I needed a new profile photo for facebook.

All great reasons, right?

In case you are wondering, Zach has lost close to 15 pounds, which puts us both within 5 pounds of our “May 7th” goal – totally doable.  After that I’d like to lose another 10 pounds and work on getting Zach into a healthier BMI, but we’ll see where we are then and re-assess.



Almost 10 years ago I had to take a PE course as part of the general education requirements for college.  I had always liked dance and decided Ballroom dance sounded like fun.  This is far before Dancing with the Stars or anything like that that brought attention to ballroom dance.

I fell in love.  Two times a week, for two plus hours, I sweated my butt off, looked like a fool, but had oh so much fun!

The class was mainly made up of girls and we were encouraged to invite our guy friends to come and participate free of charge.  I tried to get anyone I could think of to come – more dance time for me if there were more guys.  For some reason, I couldn’t convince my new boyfriend (Zach) to join me, but I did manage to get a friend, Eric, to join me a couple of times.

For ten years I’ve wanted to go dance, but I need a guy who knows what he is doing.  Three or so years ago, Zach said he would do lessons with me – it was a valentine’s day present.  And somehow, we still have yet to do it.  Part of the problem is that we had a kid and then Zach has been pushing really hard to get school done, so we just didn’t have time available when the classes are, but….

Graduation is coming and Isaac isn’t breastfeeding and I’m sure we can find a babysitter, so guess what?  Ballroom Dancing will happen this year, probably in the next couple of months.  I’m so excited!


I waited ALL day to go to the store.  We’ve managed to only spend money on dog food this week, as we topped our monthly budget with our St. Patty’s Day party, but I need cereal.

I’ve never been a cereal eater.  It’s been tolerable, but I’ve never been excited for it.  Zach likes it, Issac asks for it every morning and when I decided I needed to lose some weight I decided I could get a bowl of cereal every morning.  See, I have this bad habit about not eating until I get hungry and that could be as late at 2PM when I’ve been up since 7.  Very bad for my motabalizism.  Cereal seemed like a good solution for me – I don’t have to think about it, it’s filling enough and quick.  So every morning for the past several months, when Isaac wakes up I fix us both a bowl of cereal and we eat.

I’ve become addicted to Cinnamon Cheerios.  They are just darn good.  And today I ate the last bowl. 😦  Isaac ate the last of the mini-shredded wheats and earlier in the week Zach finished off the Kix.  And so a trip to the store was needed to stock up, even if it meant going over a bit on my self-imposed budget.

A few minutes before we left and the phone rang.  My mom was wondering if I found the wireless keyboard and mouse I’d told her I’d look for.  I had forgotten to look, but I found them while we were on the phone and told her we would drop them off.  We did.  And installed them.

Then we decided to see if Cody wanted to go get a burger with us.  He didn’t answer so we drove to the apartment and banged on the door.  After about five minutes he got up, and joined us in the car.

One of the best images of the day was watching Isaac, with a balloon in one hand and Cody’s hand in the other, running through the parking lot with a huge grin on his face.  Isaac sure loves his Uncle Cody.

We made a stop at Best Buy and Target for Cody to look for a game, then we journeyed back to the apartment to help Cody setup his wireless so his PS3 and laptop could get Internet.

Ron came home from work.  Isaac played guitar.

Second best image of the day: Isaac sitting on Grandpa Ron’s bed struming the guitar and singing his ABCs as loud as he could.

We left at 11ish.  No store.  No cereal.  I guess I’ll eat oatmeal tomorrow, but it is definitely not as yummy as cereal and I don’t really know when that happened.  I used to LOVE oatmeal.

Mommy Gotchu

Long ago I used to think it was so sweet when little kids would say, “Mommy hold you.”  In fact, I still think it’s quite sweet and I love hearing Isaac say it, but the one that breaks my heart is when he says, “Mommy Gotchu.”

It’s always said kind of under his breath, to himself when I’m holding him or keeping him safe.  It’s like he is reminding himself that it’s okay because Mommy has him, Mommy is in control. (Ha! Wouldn’t it be nice to always be in control?)

I love that I can be that safe place for him.  I always want to be that safe place, but we grow up. Some day I won’t be his safe place, he might come to me with problems, but I won’t be able to fix them all.  All I can do is try to enjoy and savor the moment and hold him just a little closer.

Adventures in Potty Learning – Update #4

I’ve wondered at what point does a parent say, “My child is potty-training!” (And yes, for the record, I still hate that term, just rubs me wrong).  Do you know the second your child has it all figured out?  I’m guessing, no matter how a parent has gone about teaching their child about the potty it wasn’t in one day (even though my parents seem to think it was).

And when people say that is it for daytime, nighttime, traveltime, whatever?  Or is it when your child gets the idea and has fewer than 2 accidents a day at home, but is still in a diaper at night?  I’m sure this is different for everyone and everyone goes about it differently.

Isaac has been having a really good week.  I don’t really keep track on the weekends, but on the weekdays I write down on my calendar if he has had an accident that day and if so the circumstances.  This week, not only has Isaac had NO accidents during the day, but he has also woken up for three days in a row with a dry diaper!  And, I haven’t “reminded” him to go to the potty….it’s so relaxing!

I’m excited for this change.  I enjoy not rushing up the stairs as fast as we can, but I’m cautious to say he’s done.  I’m sure things will mix our lives up and cause some regression.  I remember having nighttime accidents throughout my childhood.  Accidents are bound to happen, it’s part of being a kid, heck – it might just be part of life.

~~~~Adventures in Potty Learning: 1, 2 & 3

Holding Hands

I was hot and uncomfortable, when the alarm started beeping.  I haven’t used an alarm in 2 plus years, since before my son was born, I just wake up, but my husband, now that is a different story.  He gets up well before me and hates mornings.  He is the textbook “snoozer.”  He was so bad a one point that the alarm clock has to be so far away that he has to get out of bed to get to it.  Still, he pushes it several times before getting up for the day.

Normally, when he comes back after the first snooze, I move over and snuggle with him, but on this day I wanted nothing to do with snuggling.  My back hurt and I had just tossed and turned and as the alarm beeped, I finally got comfortable on my back.  In the dark, I found his hand, interlocked our fingers and went back to sleep.

In those sleepy moments, I felt warm, secure, peaceful and happy.  How is it that something we do often could feel so special?  Is it the fact that it was done in secret?  That it was outside our normal routine?  I suppose it doesn’t matter, what matters is I felt it and want to remember it and…at the end of the day, as we were getting ready for bed, he said, “I really liked it when you held my hand this morning.”  Guess he felt it too.