Moving on…

Zach is working very diligently on school.  He is in the last push (three weeks) before he student teaches starting in January.  This is his typical schedule:

5:30am: Get ready for work
6:15am -10:15am: work
10:30am-noon: Homework or Observations in school
12pm-12:45pm: Lunch with us (if we are lucky)
1pm – 5pm: work
5:30: Unwind
6pm-10pm: Homework or school with a short break for dinner with us
10pm-10:30pm: Puts us to bed
10:30pm-midnight: Homework

Weekends his spends mainly locked in the office.

As you can see we don’t get much time.  I miss Zach.  I miss chatting with him and watching TV and just being together.  And I feel a lot like a single mom (although I do have him to call on when I really need). Isaac thinks Daddy is always in the office and really misses playing with him.  But we decided a while back that it was better this way…more classes, less time in school – the goal was that Zach would be done with school by the time Isaac was two.  While Zach won’t graduate until May (five months after Isaac turns two), but January to May is student teaching and not class, plus he won’t be working.

We’ve known for a long time that Zach wouldn’t work while student teaching.  When I student taught I still managed to work 30 hours, but that was because I could work at nights and on the weekends, his job isn’t quite that flexible.  We’ve been saving to prepare for this, but the closer it gets the more I’m getting a little freaked out.  Thankfully, Zach will be able to return to his job at the end of student teaching, they are looking at it kinda like maternity leave, but part of me can’t help but wonder – what if they change their mind?  What if he doesn’t find a teaching job?  But really, I rarely think on this.

What I have been thinking about is myself.

I’m lonely.

I’m in bad shape (physically).  I just to think I was in bad shape, but I used to walk everywhere, I climbed stairs, I put on clothes every day, I looked in the mirror to assess if I was presentable.

I’m becoming dumber.  Maybe I just feel like this because I don’t read as much and I don’t have the discussions with other educators and adults like I used to.

I’m worried I won’t be able to get a teaching job and if I do I won’t know what I’m doing.  I left teaching to start a family and help Zach get through school.  But now I’m going on my fourth year away from the classroom and I really miss it.  I want to teach again, but I’m afraid I’ve dug myself into a hole.  I guess I have to just leave it in God’s hands and pray that we both get teaching jobs next year.

Change is uncomfortable, but without it we don’t get better and we don’t achieve great things.  I watched three things over the weekend that were all about very different things, but all came down to this point and unfortunately, as humans we get in the way sometimes.  We over think or won’t allow ourselves to be made so uncomfortable that would allow us to achieve the best results.

It’s hard to let go, lose the control, listen to God and follow His path, but really that is how we achieve greatness – not through us.

Check these out if you have the time:
Waiting for Superman
Harmony
Vulnerability/Wholeheartedness

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November 15, 2000

Ten years ago I was going through a tough period.  I was pretty depressed and so, one day I decided to stop by the daycare center I used to work at and see if they needed anyone.  I ended up running into someone I used to work with and she was now and manager there, so I had a job within five minutes.

I didn’t need a job.  I already had a great job that worked around my school schedule and allowed me to do schoolwork when we weren’t busy.  But I was alone a lot and I was starting to get bored.  I asked them if it would be okay to go part-time, only work mornings, so I could work at the daycare center in the afternoon.  The main reason I wanted to be at the daycare center was so because kids are great.  Especially young kids.  They talk to you and love on you all day.  It’s always good to feel needed and I was hoping it would help pull me out of my depression.

Well, it worked.  I loved being around the kids.  And there was this guy that worked there who kept flirting with me.  Of course, I flirted back.  We had a great time.  He got off at 5 and I got off at 6:30, so most of the time he’d come visit me in whatever room I was in.  If he was lucky, I was already working in his room.  Although this rarely happened, because his room was the school aged kids.  I liked to work with the 1 and 2 year olds.

I wasn’t really interested in this guy.  He was very different than me and truth be told, he’d stolen my job the first time I worked at the daycare center, so I wasn’t his biggest fan.  But the flirting was harmless.

November 15 came around.  I went to my first job, I went to school, my shift was almost over at the daycare center.  I remember I was all dressed up for the special day, yet no one had said anything.  Then this guy walks into my room and says, “Happy Birthday!”  I was confused, we hadn’t talked about my birthday in a while, but sure enough, he’d remembered – he was the only one to remember.

He snuck a little into my heart that day.  And he has been doing it ever since.  It’s hard for me to believe that was 10 years ago today and that I’ve spent 1/3 of my life with Zach, but man, that was one good birthday present!

Connections

For years we’ve heard about the concept of six degrees of separation, where everyone in the world is linked by six people…but it’s been one of those hard to grasp things.  Modern social networking is making it easier to see connections amongst people.  Sometimes for the stranger.

I’ve written about this before, but it just keeps whacking me in the face.

Today three people I know gave birth – two of them were in my master’s program, one I went to high school with – “R”.  I posted a status about it on Facebook and one of my friends from college – “G” – responded.  Turns out he is friends with R’s husband, who had also posted about the birth of his daughter.  And he was surprised by the connection, since he doesn’t even know R.

Last week, I called Zach on my way home and he asked me, “How do you know the B’s?”  Of course, I asked why and he said he just friended one of his classmates on Facebook and she was asking because she knows them too!

A few weeks ago, my friend N was tagged in a photo that looked to be taken at a party.  While we used to lead a youth group together, he is more like a cousin I see at family events now – his family is my pseudo family.  Anyway, I happened to click on the photo and somehow ended up on the posters profile page and she is friends with students I taught.  Turns out she went to the high school I taught at and graduated the year before I taught there.  The photo was taken the year I was teaching.  I’m still baffled at how they know each other.

A year or so ago, a person said she thought we should be friends because we had three friends in common.  That in and of it’s self isn’t strange, but these are how I know the three people.  R was my friend in elementary school, K went to high school with me and Ron is my father-in-law.  Her father works with Ron, R went to high school with her and she knows K through some friends.

I just love seeing the connections between people.  Facebook used to have a feature where you could state how you knew someone and other people could see those if they wanted to know the connection.  I don’t see it anymore, so they’ve either moved it to the background or gotten rid of it completely.  I miss that.  It was one of my favorite parts about Facebook.  Now I’m stuck actually asking and being nosey instead of spying, I wonder – which is worse?

 

Dryers

I’m new to the world of laundry.  I’ve been blessed and haven’t had to do it until recently and really, I don’t suppose I have to do it now, but I’ve chosen to take it on to allow Zach a bit more time for his homework.  Recently, I’ve become frustrated in the fact that the clothes never dry.  I mean I have to run 5-6 70 minute drying cycles to get them dry.  It takes me all day to do one load.  It’s horrible.

We’ve been meaning to clean out the vents for a while.  So a few weekends ago we did.  We moved the drier out and disconnected the hose and it was super packed with lent and dog hair…the entire 6 foot tube was packed.  We decided to throw it out and get a new one and this time we followed the directions and cut it down to size.  I was all excited for my drier to work, surely this was what was causing my problem.

Nope.  It didn’t work.

So, next step, take off the housing to the house and attempt to clean the tube.  We ran into a major wasp nest and while we battled them, our neighbor noticed what we were doing.  I honestly can’t remember exact what we were going to do, but he had a better plan (it pays to live next to nice people who have owned a home a while and are handy at things).  He lent us this contraption that you just stick through the vent, connect to your drill and all the lent comes with.

Nice idea, but the parts only got us about halfway from the outside of the house to the drier.  It was dark, so we put it off.

A few days later (yesterday), so we went and bought additional extentions.

________

Wrote the above back on September 16…long story short, we got everything out of the vent.  From the dryer to the house.  The dryer wasn’t any better, but I was bound and determined to just live with it, until Saturday.

On Saturday I turned the dryer on and it started smoking.  Yep, not a good sign.  So we could pay someone to come out and fix it, or get a new one to match the “new” washer we got two years ago.  We opted for the second options.  I haven’t been too thrilled with “fixers,” and I need a dryer.  With a child who doesn’t have many winter clothes, we just need it and don’t have time to find a solution.  So, my new dryer arrives on Thursday.  I’m super excited.  Man, I’ve come a long way!

Reflections

My son is a pretty positive person.  Some of his favorite words are nice, yep and okay.  I enjoy hearing his little voice and all his positiveness.

He rarely says no.  In fact, the only time I’ve heard him say no was to the dogs for chewing up trash.  Then he chased them with the trash yelling “no, no, no” and “bad dog”.

He has taken to uh-uh lately, but thankfully only when he really means it.

He says please when he wants something and thank you when he gets it.

And my favorite…oh gosh!  This gets used quite often.  He hurts himself….oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh.  He is angry about something…oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh.  He is surprised…oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh.  It it quite adorable.

When he first started with oh gosh, Zach and I questioned where he picked that up.  A few days later I realized I say oh gosh a lot, but I hardly notice it.  Milk spills, I say oh gosh.

I guess our kids are a mirror reflection of us.  And I guess for the moment we are doing a good job of being nice, kind and considerate to each other, as those are the things Isaac is picking up, we’ve just got to keep it up. 🙂

Adventures in Potty Learning – Update #2

I feel like I should update, but I don’t feel like there is much of an update.

Isaac rarely has accidents outside of the house – we even made it on a four plane rides across the country just fine, but for some reason around the house is a different story.  It’s like he just forgets, or maybe I’m not paying as much attention.

Last weekend he had Diahreah, poor guy.  It really set us back.

This weekend I don’t think he went on the potty once.  I was ready for diapers again and so was Zach.  My frustration level was so high, I had to take a step back and remember my rule….if it’s not relaxing, it’s not worth it.  We spent an evening in diapers and then yesterday morning we returned to undies, with one change.

For a while, when we asked Isaac if he needed to go potty, he’d say nothing for no or yep.  It was great.  Recently he has taken to always responding with variation of no.  So I decided every hour he was going to try, whether or not he said yes or no and we would make it pleasant.  We would read a book or sing a song….he loves both of those, so I’m hoping it will help settle him enough to sit…he has a bit of an energy issue and doesn’t like to take the time to go.  Many times the second he starts to pee he’ll stand up and run over to whatever he was playing with.

Yesterday went well.  We pushed a few of the hours by 15ish minutes, but we had no accident.  It was a good day.  I was happy, Isaac was happy.

Today has been mostly successful, but Cody was over and Mom was over and after nap things fell apart.  My head was distracted and I’m sure Isaac’s is as well, so we’ve had a few accidents.

I really think Isaac gets it.  He hates being poopy and will generally fuss for a moment after he pees, but I’m really thinking it’s just he is too busy to slow down or he forgets (just like I do).