I’m feeling a little sad today.  I don’t know if sad is the most appropriate word, but for being an English major, my vocabulary fails me when I really need it.

When I was pregnant, there was no question in my mind that I was going to breastfeed.  I was breastfed and it was just engrained in my head that that was what you did.  I didn’t really think about.  Of course, there is tons of research to support it and a million benefits.

When Isaac was born he latched pretty good.  I remember being frustrated those first few days.  But we were doing just fine…until jaundice set in and the doc wanted to supplement formula.  We compiled, but Isaac threw it up immediately and we never returned.  My milk came in and that was the end of that.

I spent weeks soaking wet from leaking.  I spent weeks in pain due to cracked nipples.  Isaac relied solely on me for nourishment.  I worried if he got enough.  I tried to pump to provide a safe guard in case it was needed.  I remember wanting to quit – to give up.  Somehow we made it through.  Eventually, I wasn’t always wet.  My nipples healed.  I learned that pumping was overrated because it would go bad before we ever used it.

Before we started nursing I tried to determine at what age nursing should end.  Some fancy organization says something like until it is “undesirable” for mother or baby.  Every time we saw the pediatrician he asked what my plan was.  I said I was going to nurse him until he was done.

It seems like that time has come.  Almost 16 months…he asks to nurse, but will look at my boob, laugh, stick his thumb in his mouth and rest his head on my boob.  Sometimes he’ll suckle, but not for the past two days.

I know this is a good thing.  I mean really, do I want to be in public with my talking child yelling that he wants to nurse?  Not really.  Do I now get to enjoy my evening cocktail without thinking about extra milk or if he’ll go to sleep without nursing tonight?  Absolutely.  Is it easier to go on an evening date because anyone can put him to bed?  Sure.

It’s just that somewhere, deep inside me, I’m sad – irrationally sad.



I’ve been trying to be more active lately.  Let’s face it.  I’ve never been an active person.  I always hated gym.  I’d find any excuse to sit on the side and I pretended I couldn’t run.  Now I’m old…okay, only 29, but I’m stiff, it’s hard for me to straighten up after sitting and my ankles have been bad for quite some time.  Now, you add in the fact that I work at home, which doesn’t require much activity from me, including getting dressed, and that it’s hard to get to the gym when I’ve got a 1 year old attached to me at all times.  I’ve gotten into a rut.

I read somewhere that we should try to walk 10,000 steps a day.  I barely get 1000, if I put some effort into it.  Which means babysteps.

I have a goal.  Before the end of the summer, I’d like to hike another 14er.  I did this three years ago with my sister and had a blast!  We wanted to go back the very next weekend, so really, I’d like to do it early in the season, in case I want to do two this year, but for now, it’s just one.

To reach this goal, I have to be in better shape than one who sits on the couch working all day and never leaves the house.

My first step was to get a small desk for downstairs to work at.  This makes it so I don’t get too comfy.  When the work day ends, I’m not just temped to stay on the couch and play on my computer.  It also, in some weird way, reminds me to drink more water, which is an absolute must if you are going to workout.

My second step was to get dressed.  Everyday.  Even if I didn’t plan on leaving the house.  This is half the hurdle of working out.

Now, I”m trying to get walking.  I’d like to eventually get to jogging, but don’t have the proper equipment for taking a toddler with me.  I joined a site called  It’s a place to track your training.  I’ve also joined a challenge – 100 miles by June – and I managed to get my sister, who pretends to hate technology, to sign up with me.  It’s good because we can encourage each other even though we are 1,745 miles away from each other – maybe we should create a challenge to see how fast we can walk that distance. 🙂

I’ve been good about walking a couple times a week.  It’s a start for me.  I’ve even taken the dogs and gone on longer walks.  I try to map out about three miles around my house and go various places.  We’ve got some pretty nice trails around us.  I can get a lot of places in three miles and I haven’t really even tried to go towards the city.  Sometimes I take a dog with me, it depends on how much “extra” energy I have.

All this to say, it’s been raining the last couple of days.  I haven’t wanted to walk with a 1 year old in the rain.  So, today we did WiiFit.  I’ve had it since Isaac was first born, but haven’t been using it much lately.  Let’s say it was a fun challenge to do steps over Isaac, but he had a blast crawling through my legs, doing Advanced Step with me and clapping and dancing.  He thought it was a game.  We had a blast and a good workout to boot.

Six Year and…

Zach and I celebrated our sixth anniversary this weekend.  It’s amazing how time passes.  We obviously came a long way from dating to getting married (read about it in My Love Story), but we’ve done so much over the last six years too.

Quick overview of the biggies:

The first year:

  • Zach got a new job, within a month of our wedding.
  • Zach wrecked his car shortly after starting new job.
  • We lived with my father-in-law in a two bedroom apartment for just over a year.
  • We went on our first trip to the Sand Dunes.
  • We got our first baby, Lexi, for my birthday.
  • My father-in-law broke his jaw and then his arm…every time he called I was worried he was back in the ER.
  • I student-taught during the day and worked at nights.

Second year:

  • I broke my foot.
  • I graduated with my bacholor’s.
  • We bought a house.
  • We went on our second trip to the Sand Dunes.
  • Zach continued on with school, now at a local community college.
  • We got a new dog…Guinness.
  • We went on a road trip to AZ to visit my dad’s parents and ended up in Las Vegas visiting my mom’s dad and step mom.

Third Year:

  • I accepted my first teaching position on our anniversary.
  • I taught.
  • I think this was the year we started our St. Patty’s Day party, but it could have been the year before.
  • Sand Dunes.
  • It was a slow year.

Fourth Year:

  • I quit teaching and had two paychecks for several months.
  • We traveled a lot more than normal…Oregon, Washington, Sand Dunes, Glenwood.
  • I climbed a 14er (Zach won’t do it with me).
  • We tiled our downstairs (it pretty much took all year!)
  • I started my Masters at University of Colorado Denver.
  • Zach transferred to Regis University.
  • We enjoyed several symphonies.

Year Five

  • We got pregnant.
  • I had a business trip to Nashville and Zach joined me.
  • We went to lots of concerts….Barenaked Ladies, Snoop Dogg, Mile High Music Fest…
  • Of course, we went to the Sand Dunes.
  • We became parents to a beautiful baby boy – Isaac.

Year Six:

  • I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder just days before my sister’s wedding.
  • My sister got married.
  • Isaac and I went to New Hampshire for Susie’s graduation from Dartmouth.
  • We all went to Virginia to visit Stacy.
  • We celebrated the 4th of July in Washington, DC.
  • We went on a road trip to Dallas for a wedding.
  • We lost both of Zach’s grandmothers, sadly before they could meet Isaac.
  • We flew to Oregon for Dorothy’s funeral.
  • We went to the Pumpkin Patch (for Isaac and my first time).
  • Celebrated Isaac’s first birthday.

The Seventh Year Itch?

I don’t know about that.  Zach should graduate shortly after our seventh anniversary, if he doesn’t get the new job he interviewed for.  We have lots of fun scheduled for the summer, including hikes and zoos, museums and beaches, but all this would be misery if it was with anyone besides Zach.  We work well together:  I’m a planner, Zach is not.  I get angry and yell, Zach rarely does.  Dirty house drives me crazy, it doesn’t faze Zach.  I don’t hold grudges, Zach does.  See we are perfect opposites. 🙂

In celebration of our anniversary we had a busy weekend.  We talked my parents into watching Isaac on Saturday night and went to a nice romantic dinner, where we got free desert.  The evening was beautiful so we walked to a gelato place and had a second desert.  Then we were off to see “How to Train Your Dragon” in IMAX 3D.  We then hung out on the top level of the parking lot overlooking the city and talked about the last nine years.  It was perfect!

On Sunday we took a family trip (minus the dogs) to the state park where we got married.

This is the Day

I decided on three things to make for dinner this week.  Two of them required mozzarella cheese.  My shopping list said mozzarella, I forgot I needed double the amount, so I used all my cheese in my lasagna at the beginning of the week.  So today I had a choice.  I needed to go to the store….I could drive or I could walk.

I decided to walk.  I’ve been trying to walk 1-3 miles a day and missed the last two days.  I used google to quickly calculate that it was about 1.5 miles to the store and 1.5 miles back.  Very doable.

As I got the ERGO carrier out, Isaac started giggling.  He was so excited to ride on my back.  We rotate how he goes on walks.  Sometimes it’s in the stroller, sometimes on my baby.  He has been clingy lately and the last time I had him in the stroller, I ended up holding him and pushing the stroller on a dirt trail–NOT FUN!  So today, the ERGO it was.

I could rave about the ERGO, but that would be it’s own post.  For now I’ll just say that if you have a baby or will have a baby soon, this is the carrier to invest in.  Totally the best $100 I’ve spent on baby items.  End side bar.

It was a beautiful day to walk.  Sunny, slight breeze – perfect.  Isaac pointed out every dog along the way and I tried to show him the flowering trees.  We were just getting to the store just about when Zach was driving by from work, so he stocked us in the parking lot.

On the way home I noticed a sign going into the church parking lot.  It said, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving, enter his courts with praise. Psalms 100:4”  So, for the walk home I sang “Enter his gates” which always leads into “This is the Day the Lord has made.”  How blessed am I?

My Son

OMG!!  I am absolutely so in love with my son.  How could any one thing be so perfect and wonderful?  Isaac is in what I’ve always deemed my favorite age.  Although we aren’t able to understand everything he says, he talks, gets excited, laughs and responds.


  • Isaac has recently taken to eating with a fork.  We’ve always given him plastic baby forks, but recently he had a plastic big person fork and loved it, we went got him some real baby forks (which he picked out at the store) and he uses it all the time now.  So cute and fun.
  • Tonight was an exception to the fork.  He had spaghetti-o’s and realized quite quickly that the fit perfectly on his finger, so he had to put them on his finger then to his mouth.
  • Isaac is learning to obey.  He is beginning to understand that he has to stop at the street.  This is a life or death piece of knowledge, so we work on it a lot.
  • Yesterday Isaac brought me a book in my room (he LOVES to read).  I put him in my lap and read him the book.  When it was done he wanted down and I asked him to take the book back.  Instead he ran to his room and got another book.  I told him he needed to take the first book back first.  He picked it up and went to his room.  He returned with his snuggly.  So I let him up in my lap to read.  A few minutes later Zach came up and I asked him to tell me where the book was….he searched Isaac’s room and found it in the book basket.  What a good kid!
  • We got Isaac a Betta fish for his 15 month birthday.  He loves fish and since our goldfish died, Zach has been wanting some new fish.  Now, if we ask Isaac if he wants to see his fish (it is high on his dresser) he laughs, more like giggles.  It’s so cute!
  • Last night we went with some friends for some gelato.  It was so good.  But Isaac was a ham.  He kept running behind the counter, just so he could see the guy who was working there.   He also kept going and talking to the other couple who was there.  And of course, he love the dark chocolate gelato I had.  He had his own little spoon and stood on the chair next to me dipping his spoon in.  I think he got more on his hands and face and clothes than in his mouth, but he had fun.
  • Today we went grocery shopping.  Isaac waved at everyone.  He is normally pretty shy and won’t wave at people, but today he was everyone’s friend.  And I think about 10 people told me he has a great smile.
  • I think he final got his molar.  I got my finger in there today and it felt like something was there.  That would be tooth #7.
  • Oh and so much more.  But Isaac wants read….so I’m off.