Drowning

I’m having a rough week. It doesn’t seem all that rough, but I’m all torn up on the inside. I’ve gotten to the point where I want to shelter myself from the world, dig myself a whole and stay there for a really, really long time. I think this is how I felt most of my life growing up and the one of the main reasons I am such a loner and don’t have many friends.

I don’t like bad communication. I don’t like miscommunication. I don’t like being left out. I don’t like being ignored. I don’t like being left in the dark. I don’t like when people make plans…even tentative ones…and then conveniently forget about me. I don’t like when people don’t like me. But this week I’m getting these feelings in every possible direction and I feel like I’m drowning – drowning in emotional pain, anger, sadness, depression. I’m trying to be positive. I’m trying to do the right thing. But I really just want to yell and scream and shut myself in my little hole.

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