Another

Our anniversary is coming up. I was hoping to be pregnant by now, but I’m not and I’m handling better than I expected, especially with all the people pregnant and having babies. All in God’s timing….I just wish he’d clue me in.

I’m a little torn on the subject. I want to be pregnant….some overwhelming urge, I don’t understand. And I want to have kids, but sometimes I’m scared. I like my life. I like being able to do anything whenever I want. I like not having a lot of responsibilities. I like Zach and my relationship. All this changes when you have kids. Everyone says you adjust and don’t even notice that you are now responsible for someone else, but with all this time to think about it, it just flat out scares me. I might be too selfish of a person to have kids.

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One thought on “Another

  1. Cliff and I wanted kids so desperately and after trying a couple of years, found out he had a fertility problem. It was heart-breaking and a major disappointment. However, after finally adjusting to the fact, we LOVE our childless life. We love the two of us being close…much closer if we’d had children–it is just a fact. Now I love the fact that I won’t have to deal with that crummy teenage stuff and temper tantrums, etc. So many people have children and then the children turn out to hate them. I have a close friend whose two daughters actually won’t speak to her and she was a good mother and wanted those children more than anything on earth. You never know how it will turn out.

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