I feel like writing today. I haven’t felt like writing in quite a while, but I don’t know what to write about. Life is pretty uneventful lately. I seem to be spending most of my time depressed and hiding from the world. I went through a depression spell once where all I did was work, eat, sleep…..literally nothing in between. I don’t know why my parents didn’t freak out. At least this time, its just feelings….I’m still able to function in the world and interact and no one knows the difference. But I do tend to steer clear of friends and gatherings and I don’t feel like writing.
Today I’m happy. I don’t know why. Nothing has changed from yesterday, but non-the-less I’m happy.
I was discussing my phone-phobia with a co-worker today. This co-worker has known me for about six years and we became so close that there was a running joke that we were married (we fought a lot, but still were close and good friends), now that we work in different departments he is labeled my ex-husband….oh, I’m getting side-tracked. Anyway, I’ve recently “come out” about my phone-phobia. I don’t generally discuss it with people, but I’m starting to recognize it as a real problem and I don’t know where it came from.
Here’s the problem….I will not answer the home phone. I rarely answer my cell phone. I will not call people, if some one needs to be called I make my husband do it. We have caller-id, so I always know who is calling and it’s not that I don’t want to talk to the person or I don’t like them or anything like that….I just don’t want to be on the phone. Now, if you are lucky enough to get me on the phone, I don’t have a problem talking for hours upon hours, but you have to get me on the phone first.
There are a few exceptions to “my fear.” I have no problems answering the phone and talking to Zach or calling him. In fact, I do it all the time and probably drive him crazy. If I’m “working,” whether at home or in the office, again, no problems….in fact I sometimes prefer it over email. So why is it that I can’t pick up the phone and call my parents? Can’t answer the phone when my good friend calls? Get really anxious when I have to call people back? WhY? I really don’t understand this problem, but it is a problem.
People have asked that I continue “My Love Story”…I will try, but it gets a little boring after we got married. 🙂 Zach keeps telling me he is going to work on his, but he works full-time and has four classes this semester, so it might not be until this summer. If you haven’t begun “My Love Story,” it’s pretty much a book, so you probably won’t read it in one sitting and should get working on that. 🙂 You can find the link at the top or right side.
Since I’ve gained three pounds since New Years, I’m really on a diet, well WW. I picked this up on Monday and so far I’ve been good. I’m allowed 20 points a day and get 35 extra points. Each day I’ve eaten a bit over my 20 points, but today was the highest at 25 and that is because I went out to lunch with the work folk. Which, by the way, if you live in the Denver area, Bull & Bush makes some yummy french fries. 🙂 I decided I can obsess about losing weight, it might do me good. Since I’ve not been to the gym in a two weeks, I decided to focus on my food intake first and get that under control and build the gym back in after that. It’s just been so cold….too cold for the gym and I need something to do or I think too much. Sob, sob. I know. My own private symphony.