1. Are you going to have kids?
Nice Answer: Someday, we’ll see what God has planned.
Answers I want to say:
No, actually, we hate kids.
We have sex every day and still no kids, maybe your advice will help? (I’m being extreme and I don’t want help from you, I’m just don’t want to talk to you about it.)
2. Oh, your not feeling well….maybe you’re pregnant.
Nice Answer: No, I’m pretty sure I’m not. (And then I remember not to tell that person that I’m not feeling well from then on.)
What I want to say:
You don’t think I thought of that!
I’d love to be pregnant, thanks for reminding me I’m not.
I’m so tried of people asking us if we are having a baby, when we are going to have kids, why we don’t have kids yet. I think they are questions that should remain unasked. If I want you to know our plans and about our sex life, I’ll tell you, you don’t have to ask. If I haven’t said anything to you, chances are you’ll find out we are pregnant when I’m showing and not a second sooner. I’m a private person, for the most part and I don’t want the world to know I’m struggling, so I’m going to say this once and once only.
We want kids. We waited a while to start trying. We are trying, but please don’t remind us that we are trying because it stresses me out. Ultimately you don’t know what is going on in our private lives. Maybe we had a miscarriage the day before you asked and don’t want to talk about it and now you are bringing it up all over. Please, for my sake, don’t ask. And if I tell you I’m not feeling good, chances are I’m really sick….not pregnant! I will not complain about being sick when I’m pregnant to people who don’t know. So if I’m complaining….I’m really sick. Like this last week…..guess what….really sick! Doctor had to draw blood to see why….I have blood in my urine, my gallbladder and liver are sore and so is my appendix. See! Sick….not pregnant.
When people ask these questions they put me in a bad position. I do not like to lie….therefore I want to tell you the truth, but I also want to tell people in my own way. So let’s play a game…..say I was pregnant and you, a friend, asked me if I was pregnant, I just found out a week before and have not told my family (who will be the first people we tell), what do I do….lie to you and feel horrible about it, or tell you the truth and feel just as horrible about it? I think it’s easier on us all if the question is just left alone.
While we are on the subject….someday, when we do have kids, please do not ask if we know the sex of the baby or what we are going to name it. We are not going to find out the sex and you may ask if we have names picked out, but we will not share.
I feel better now.
Tomorrow, I’ll resume my happier post that aren’t caked in anger. I just had to get it off my chest.