Loss

I don’t know if I’m ready to not be a teacher. I guess I don’t have much of a choice at this point, but…..I feel sad. I’m not leaving teaching because I hate it and maybe that’s the problem. In fact, I love teaching. I love talking to my students and learning new things every day. I love that I have 150 really close friends. I love my seniors….every last one of them, in fact, I love all my students. I guess that’s why teachers get possessive and call their students — “my kids.” We are like a family and we’re being ripped apart. It’s sad.

I realized today after school that I really only see my seniors one last (maybe two) days. Over the last few weeks I feel like I’ve gotten closer to my Journalism class and further away from my Newspaper class, the result is a wish for more time…..more time to get to know my Journalism student and more time to repair relationships in my Newspaper class. Why are things always complicated with people involved?

My only wish is for my students to keep in touch. I don’t think students bond like teachers do. I don’t remember being sad about school ending and not having my teachers anymore, but I definitely feel that today. I’m sure that feeling will only get stronger in the next few weeks.

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