I’m so sorry to have made you this mad. I don’t really know how this one little thing could cause this much frustration and anger. Last night, I did get on after you did and got off as soon as I got my ail. I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to see you, in fact all I really wanted, still want to do, is give you a hug and never let go. I don’t know if that would solve the problem though. The reason I didn’t IM you last night was because I figured if you didn’t want to see me, you probably didn’t want to talk either. I was talking to Mom last night about how every time anyone gets close to me I unconsciously put up a shield to protect myself from being hurt. Guess what? I think I’ve told you before, it always works, not that I want it too, but it does. No one, neither me or the people I’ve been friends with are strong enough to over come it. I hope that this is not the case with us. Dad says I’m too stubborn, that I always have been. I wish I weren’t, but I guess in some situations it is a good thing. I want so much to be close to you, it just scares me. I don’t know why, but it does. I think that bunch of rambling should show you how I felt last night as well as now. If you really want to talk to me, I would be more than willing to call, I just don’t know if you really do. I hope you had a great day.