email 12.11.99 // Re: ?

From: Jenn
To: Nathan
Date: 12.11.1999

Dear Nathan,

I’m so sorry to have made you this mad.  I don’t really know how this one little thing could cause this much frustration and anger.  Last night, I did get on after you did and got off as soon as I got my ail.  I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to see you, in fact all I really wanted, still want to do, is give you a hug and never let go.  I don’t know if that would solve the problem though.  The reason I didn’t IM you last night was because I figured if you didn’t want to see me, you probably didn’t want to talk either.  I was talking to Mom last night about how every time anyone gets close to me I unconsciously put up a shield to protect myself from being hurt.  Guess what?  I think I’ve told you before, it always works, not that I want it too, but it does.  No one, neither me or the people I’ve been friends with are strong enough to over come it.  I hope that this is not the case with us.  Dad says I’m too stubborn, that I always have been.  I wish I weren’t, but I guess in some situations it is a good thing.  I want so much to be close to you, it just scares me.  I don’t know why, but it does.  I think that bunch of rambling should show you how I felt last night as well as now.  If you really want to talk to me, I would be more than willing to call, I just don’t know if you really do.  I hope you had a great day.



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